Winter Wellness: Practical Advice for a Healthier Season

SHOW DESCRIPTION

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Feeling the winter blues? We've all been there. Whether it’s the shorter days, colder weather, or the added stress of the holidays, winter can be a tough time. In this episode, we’ll talk about the challenges many of us face, like grief, loneliness, and feeling overwhelmed.

We’ll share practical tips for setting boundaries, finding joy in everyday moments, and practicing self-care. Plus, we'll discuss how to manage the feelings of loneliness and grief that can be amplified during this time of year. Let's navigate the winter season together by taking care of our well-being in every way.

TL;DR

This episode talk about beating the winter blues together with tips for managing stress, finding joy, and taking care of yourself during this challenging season.

Time Stamps

00:00 Introduction to Coffee, Cocktails, and Clarity

01:13 Navigating Winter Blues and Loneliness

03:43 Setting Boundaries with Family and Friends

08:11 Maintaining Balance During the Holidays

12:35 Combating Loneliness

17:30 Living with Grief

23:18 Final Thoughts and Resources

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RESOURCES
Note: I do not have any affiliations with, sponsorships or endorsements from any of the resources mentioned. They are listed for your reference.

 Mental Health Resources
Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
Ph: 988
Website: https://988lifeline.org/

Psychology Today
Website: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

National Institute of Mental Health
Website: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/

Sexual Violence Resources
RAIIN
Ph: 800.656.HOPE (4673)
Website: https://rainn.org/

Substance Abuse Resources
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
Website: https://findtreatment.gov/

Alcoholics Anonymous
Website: https://www.aa.org/

Al-Anon Family Groups
Website: https://al-anon.org/

Credits
YouTube: Parks and Recreation Streaming on Paramount
Podcast Editor: Payton Cross Productions

Transcript

0:00

Coming up next on Coffee, Cocktails, and Clarity. Grief can suddenly grab us by the throat and choke our air supply. Do not feel obligated to say anything at all, because"No" is a full and complete sentence. No matter what, remember that you are in control of how you spend your time. Loneliness isn't something that can be easily described or easily fixed. Grief is one of, if not, the hardest emotions to express and live with. If we're not careful, the winter months can swallow us up in sadness and grip us in pain for months. Ready to level up your life? Let's unlock your full potential together. As your expert coach and strategist, I'll guide you to achieve your goals. For a limited time, name your price on my coaching and accountability packages. Terms and conditions apply. Don't miss this incredible opportunity. Click the link to learn more and start your journey. If someone were to ask you, What is the hardest time of year for you?" Some of you might say the spring because of allergies. Others might say summer because of the heat. And I would venture to say that most of us would say winter because it seems we get challenged the most with being balanced, setting boundaries, and having the blues during winter. So how do we get through this challenging time? Hi ladies, I'm Shai, and I'm so excited to welcome you to Coffee, Cocktails, and Clarity. As a woman navigating my own journey, I've experienced the ups and downs, the triumphs and challenges that come with being a woman in today's world. I created this podcast as a space for us to have authentic conversations and connections to share stories and inspire each other. Let's break down barriers, celebrate our successes, and support one another on this journey together. So, take a sip, sit back, and let's have a chat. As the weather gets chillier outside and the days have grown darker earlier, our moods can often change and shift. Drinking something nice and warm, like I'm going to do today with my tea with a little honey spoon here that I'm going to open up. You might hear a little crinkle of paper. But it is a teaspoon that is made of local honey. So as usual, I'm going to take my first sip with you today, so...oop... That's hot. And now, let's get into it. At the time of this episode, many will be getting ready to be with family and friends for upcoming holiday festivities beginning with Thanksgiving. Others are dreading this time of year because they don't want to be with the family, many may not have friends, or some are lonely because they don't have anyone special to share this time of year with. All of these present challenges. Challenges to being balanced and how we spend our time, and with whom. The boundaries we may need to set if we're breaking with family or other traditions, and the onslaught of the blues if we're dealing with grief or maybe seasonal changes. I'm not a licensed therapist. So what I offer today as far as practical tips are things that I've learned over the years through personal research and my own therapy journey. My suggestion is that you do your own research or talk to a licensed therapist if you need more serious help than just some general tips. As always, I have links in the show notes to various resources that can help you navigate these challenging times. I'm going to talk about four main areas that challenge us during this time: finding balance, handling loneliness and grief, and I'm starting with establishing boundaries with family and friends. It's one of the biggest challenges you may face this year- establishing and enforcing boundaries when you are around family. I know from personal experience it's not always easy. Your reasons for wanting to set and enforce boundaries could vary from person to person or situation to situation. Whatever your reasons, you have the right to protect your mental, physical, and emotional space from those you feel will not bring value or will take advantage of those spaces. If we're keeping it real, we know that we will receive pushback when it comes to setting or enforcing boundaries. It almost always happens and that's to be expected because anytime there's a change in pattern or behavior, it can disrupt someone else's expectations of us. So first accept that this is going to happen. Then, prepare yourself to stand on your need to set and enforce any boundaries you are putting into place. The best way to navigate a situation where you're introducing new or enforcing boundaries is to clearly communicate them. If you are wanting to limit contact with certain family or friends, then you can offer to host a gathering at your place, or another safe location that you choose. You will then be in more control of setting the time limit for the event. Another option would be to inform your hosting family member or friend that you will attend the gathering and can only stay for a certain amount of time. You don't owe any further explanation other than that. If you're pressed, you can state some of the obligations that you may have care of, such as taking care of a pet, or your children, or your own health situation. Otherwise, you can politely say that you are trying to be better at balancing your time between being with family, friends, and self care. You decide what to say and how much you want to say, and do not feel obligated to say anything at all, because"No" is a full and complete sentence. You can set boundaries by sticking to a budget for gifts, accepting invitations to gathering or events that you really want to go to... and declining those that you just don't; you can drive your own car to gatherings or events so that you can leave when you choose to; you can step away from all ties to work when you have days off or the office is closed- and that includes not checking emails, answering phone calls, or anything else that's related to work. You can prioritize yourself. One important aspect of setting boundaries that we don't often think about is the need to determine which boundaries are simply non-negotiable, the ones we are not going to put aside or compromise on. Maybe it's being home by a certain time or not seeing a specific relative or friend. It could be not traveling in inclement weather or anything that you deem as crossing the lines you have set for yourself and others. If necessary, one of the things you can do is write down or put in your journal what your boundaries are and with whom. This way you can refer back to them. You may even want to write down why you are creating these boundaries. So when you do refer back to them, you'll better understand why you set the boundaries and with whom. You can always refer back to adjust them if it's necessary, or so that you can speak more confidently when you communicate your boundaries with others. No matter what, remember that you are in control of how you spend your time and various sources of energy, which includes your mental, physical, and emotional energy. It's okay to set boundaries to ensure you are taken care of. This time of year can also be challenging with demands on your time and your diet. Whether it's work, juggling all the activities that come with families and holidays, trying to maintain your healthy lifestyle, or trying to keep your mental and emotional peace, trying to remain balanced can be challenging and draining. So here are some quick tips that can help you with staying balanced while not losing your sanity completely. There are many things to love about this time of year, whether you celebrate the holidays or not. Focus on what you love most about this time of year. I love being in my comfy, cozy jammies or sweats under a blanket, snuggled with my dog while a fire is going in the fireplace and I'm watching KDramas, and occasionally drinking tea like today. Mmm. Maybe you love playing in the snow or sitting around the fire pit outside. Whatever it is take the time to do it and enjoy it just because it brings you joy. Do things in moderation. While there may be a few or many things that you enjoy, doing everything in moderation, that also includes how much time you may be spending with family and friends, is going to help you to remain balanced. It's easy to accept every invitation, to be convinced to stay at a gathering a little bit longer, or to shop one more hour, to spend a little bit more money on a gift, to have one more piece of dessert or another plate of your aunt's famous mac and cheese, or even to work some extra hours so you don't have as much work to do after your company's holiday break. Getting enough rest for your physical and mental health is extremely important, especially when it's the busier times of the year. This helps prevent sickness and from getting worn out in every way. You know this to be especially the case, if you are a spoonie- what some of us with chronic illness and autoimmune issues call ourselves because we only have so many spoons or amounts of energy, that we can use in a day before we overly exhaust ourselves. Be sure to do as many things as you want to do, but do them in moderation. Keep a calendar of events so you can clearly see where you're spending your time. Perhaps you have plans every weekend while working during the week and have not planned any personal time for yourself. If that's the case, you may want to look at making some adjustments in your engagements or how you're spending your time. When looking at everything you have planned for yourself, have you included things that are enjoyable to you? If not, you may want to make that adjustment and block out that time now. Being balanced in your eating and drinking can be a challenge as well. This is the time of year where we are bombarded with comfort foods and sweet treats. Moderation will be the key here as well. It's okay to not have a second helping of something, even if it's your favorite food. You can take some home and you can eat it the next day. We all know that some leftovers are really good the next day. It's okay to indulge a little in food you may usually limit yourself eating, as long as you do so in a healthy and moderate way. When cravings strike and you're trying to stick to your way of eating, try to find recipes that fit into your healthy eating plan so you don't feel that you're missing out. Don't punish yourself or your body for what you do choose to eat or what you do choose to drink. Keep your alcohol consumption to a minimum as well or to a moderate amount rather than overindulging then living with regret. Please do what you can to enjoy your food and beverages in a healthy way that will leave you feeling good and not guilty. Some of us may be far from home, family, and close relatives. Others of us may not have any family or friends we're close to. Some of us are single and desiring someone to help us enjoy our days and pass the time. And yet, like some of my friends, there are those who have family, friends, and significant others, and they still feel lonely for many reasons. Loneliness isn't something that can be easily described or easily fixed. It's an internal feeling that requires being filled up from the inside out, in most cases. That's why it's tough even with other people around. The tips I'm going to share are a start to helping overcome the loneliness that many of us may be experiencing right now. And I'm not talking about loneliness and grief. I'm just going to cover loneliness right now and I'll get to grief in a moment. So here are a few ways to start combating loneliness. First and foremost, realize that you are not alone. What I mean by that is that there are many, many people who feel lonely during this time of year for a variety of reasons. It's okay to feel this way and it's okay to talk to others about how you're feeling. I also get that sometimes it's hard to share with others because they don't always understand. If you don't have a supportive community, you can look for meetups, remember that site Meetup.com, or other events that might be taking place for those who are single or that just may be looking to get out and mix and mingle with others so that you may be able to fill some of your time and some of that feeling of emptiness that comes with loneliness. One of the things I'm definitely going to encourage you to do is to get out of the house and practice self care. These two can be combined and done together, and they can also be done separately. Sometimes getting out of the house is all you need to start to have a little bit of a pick me up that is rejuvenating or refreshing. Some of our time getting out of the house can give us a nice dose of serotonin, which lifts our mood, and dopamine, which makes us feel good, and that helps us to get out of our heads. You can also do things like keeping up with or starting your exercise routine, soaking in a nice bath, go get a massage, get a mani pedi, or just treat yoself to a spa day. Okay. So I have to do a sidebar here. I love this clip from Parks and Recreation that I'm about to throw in. I do not own the rights to this hilarious content, but it's so appropriate for what we're talking about right now. Many of you have probably seen it. I absolutely love it. It's one of my favorites and it's hilarious, but truthful. So, give it a listen, or if you're watching on YouTube, give it a quick watch. Three words for you. Treat. Yo. Self. Treat Yourself 2011! Once a year, Donna and I spend a day treating ourselves. What do we treat ourselves to? Clothes. Treat yourself. Fragrances. Treat yourself. Massages. Treat yourself. Mimosas. Treat yourself. Fine leather goods. Treat yourself. It's the best day of the year. The best day of the year! You see, you get the point, just"treat yoself." Do something for you that will make you feel good. And that also helps to combat some of that feeling of loneliness. One of the best ways to combat feelings of loneliness is by giving to others. Volunteer work gives a feeling of accomplishment and fulfillment. It brings inner joy. Not to mention, that depending on the type of volunteer work you do, you may actually find yourself feeling tired and refreshed when it's all said and done. And that can make us feel good, too, when we do a good day's worth of work for someone else. Now Here's a word of caution, which also goes if we're experiencing grief, which I'll talk about momentarily. If you find that your feelings are just too hard to bear, definitely seek the help of a trained, licensed therapist. Again, as I mention all the time, there are resources in the show notes that can help you find a good therapist or receive immediate assistance, if it's necessary. That brings us to the last thing that makes this time of year challenging for many. Grief. Grief is one of, if not, the hardest emotions to express and live with. Yes, live with. My personal belief is that we do not ever get over grief. We do not work through it. We learn to live with it. As my husband says, it's like a hole in your heart that never heals. You just learn to live with it and some way, somehow you survive. And he should know, he lost his mother in November 2016, his younger sister tragically passed in December 2018, and his father passed after a brief and serious illness in December 2021. So, yeah, this time of year really sucks for us. We've been living in a constant state of grief for years, as many of you have. And that doesn't include the close friends and other relatives that we've lost around this time of year. Grief can suddenly grab us by the throat and choke our air supply. I have described the passing of a close loved one as a crack happening in our universe that causes a seismic shift in our world. We seem to be the only ones that recognize, we're off kilter... and maybe others impacted by the loss may feel the same, we really don't know for sure because everyone experiences grief differently. If you're still living in that movie scene where your world is at a standstill while everyone is moving in time warp speed, here are a few tips I've tried to help me through challenging times like this. I use reflection. Thinking about my loved ones- their smiles or laughs, some of the things they used to say, listening to their favorite songs or watching their favorite movies- it brings me a sense of calm. I may still cry, yet I can cry and smile while remembering them the way that I want to remember them. Some of my memories and reflections I keep for myself because they were special moments to me. If I feel like sharing them, but don't want to share with anyone in particular, I'll journal my thoughts. Reflection is a form of comfort. I like to talk about my loved ones with those who knew them and sometimes with those who didn't. Talking with friends or other family members about our loved ones who have passed can help us navigate the pain and lessen it to some degree. I especially like talking about some of my favorite memories with my friends or other family members that didn't get to know the one that I'm grieving. Those stories help to paint a picture of the person that was, and why they were and still are so precious to me. Starting new traditions. Now, if we're not careful, the winter months can swallow us up in sadness and grip us in pain for months. After the passing of his father, and the whole rough year that it was, my husband and I decided that we needed to do something that would combat the overwhelming pain, sadness, and grief that kept consuming us every year, especially as we ended up having more and more deaths. We decided to start a new tradition. In the past, uh, when my husband would have his winter break from school, he's an elementary school teacher, we would do things like binge our favorite old shows on Netflix or Amazon, like The West Wing or Sherlock. We'd do video game tournaments and stay up days and nights playing every character in the game against each other. And we did it until every character in the game won. We'd play card games like Phase 10 and do tournaments with just the two of us. We would have a lot of fun. Once our grief kicked in, it was harder to find joy in those things. We'd move in almost relative silence, walking on eggshells, feeling the feels. Once his father passed, we decided to start a new tradition. We decided to start that we will travel during his winter break whenever we could. We started with going to California. Then he went to San Diego with a friend of ours for an overdue guy's trip. And when we can't go somewhere, like this year, we'll have friends or family visit for a couple of days, do day trips to nearby areas, or get out of the house more for our Barnes and Noble dates. Yes, we love going to the bookstore together. We find other activities to do together that bring us joy. We started turning this time of year around so that we can manage our grief better and together. Learning how to live with grief helps us to manage it much easier, especially when the tidal wave of emotions come and wash over us like a tsunami. Sometimes there's just no escaping it. And at other times we can easily get to higher ground if we're prepared. You can do the same. As we move through the days and weeks to come, I hope you'll recall these tips as a way to help you maneuver through situations involving work, family, and friends. It's important to set your boundaries and enforce them by clearly communicating them. Find and maintain your balance with the various obligations that may be imposed upon or expected of you. You can manage the feelings of loneliness with some concerted effort, and you can walk in grief without letting it lead you down a dark path. Whatever challenges you're facing during this time of year, know that you're not alone and that there is always support for you. Don't hesitate to reach out to any of the resources that I provide in the show notes, such as Psychology Today or the National Institute of Mental Health, RAINN, and the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. They're all there to help you. I am not a licensed therapist, and it's most certainly not in my wheelhouse. But I do have a listening ear. You can always reach out to me on my fan page and my social media. The links are in the show notes. I'll do whatever I can to be there for you. May you and yours be safe and well, in every way, during this winter season. Whether it's our first conversation or we've been talking for a while, thank you for taking the time to chat with me today. While you finish your beverage, take some time to meditate on today's conversation and journal your thoughts and feelings. If you liked today's conversation, and you haven't already done so, please subscribe to and review my podcast, then download this episode. Don't forget to join my fan page on Fanlist.com/CoffeeCocktailsClarity, where you can share your thoughts on the episode, ask questions, or share your story. You never know, I may feature you in a future episode with your consent, of course, you can also follow me on social media. The links will be in the show notes. I hope our chat helped you to see things more clearly. I always enjoy talking with you. So let's take some time for us to get together again soon for some Coffee, Cocktails, and Clarity.