Coffee, Cocktails, and Clarity: Real Women, Real Talk for Personal and Professional Development
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I’m here to support, inspire, and connect. Think of it as a conversation with your girlfriend, where you can be yourself, share your experiences, and find support, inspiration, and practical advice all over a coffee or cocktail – you choose.
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Coffee, Cocktails, and Clarity: Real Women, Real Talk for Personal and Professional Development
Redefining Rest: Beyond Sleep and Vacations
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SHOW DESCRIPTION
Let's get real. You know that feeling when you're running on fumes? Yeah, me too. On this week's episode, I'm ditching the fluff and diving into what rest really is and means. I'm sharing my own messy, real-life journey. We're talking about everything from that much-needed girls’ getaway that saved my sanity, to the daily grind of trying to find a moment of peace.
So, grab your favorite drink (mine's currently a strong coffee, don't judge), get comfy, and let's have a real conversation about prioritizing ourselves and finding that elusive rest. You deserve it, girl.
TL;DR
I'm sharing my real-life tips for finding rest amidst a busy life. Let's get real about prioritizing ourselves.
Time Stamps
00:00 Introduction and Personal Struggles
00:41 The Annual Girls' Getaway
01:22 Welcome to Coffee, Cocktails, and Clarity
02:17 Exploring the Concept of Rest
03:39 The Importance of Self-Care
05:23 Personal Experiences with Rest
06:48 Finding Daily Moments of Peace
10:07 Practical Tips for Incorporating Rest
12:23 Conclusion
CONNECT WITH ME
RESOURCES
Note: I do not have any affiliations with, sponsorships or endorsements from any of the resources mentioned. They are listed for your reference.
Mental Health Resources
Ph: 988
National Institute of Mental Health
Sexual Violence Resources
Ph: 800.656.HOPE (4673)
Substance Abuse Resources
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
Credits
Podcast Editor: Payton Cross Productions
Coming up next on Coffee, Cocktails, and Clarity. I came home and realized that I was literally exhausted. My anxiety was still going up and down. When we find those moments of rest and peace, we renew ourselves inside and out. When you suffer from autoimmune issues like I do, you know that we don't often wake up from any type of slumber feeling refreshed or rejuvenated. Put down those loads for a few minutes every day and love on yourself with your form of rest. Not long ago, I had just come back from a girl's getaway. It's a trip that three of my friends and I take each year to the Florida panhandle. We like going when there's less people, because we get into the sounds of the ocean waves without hearing a ton of people playing on the beach. Not a lot of kids, not a lot of college students. The town we go to is a quaint beach town that has great coffee shops, restaurants with delicious food, and some of the nicest people that you could meet. I felt rested after this last trip... until I didn't... I'm so happy you're here. My name is Shai Boston, and it's a privilege to welcome you to Coffee, Cocktails, and Clarity: Real Women, Real Talk. It's a safe space created for women like us who want to have authentic conversation around everything that impacts our life, careers, and relationships. Go ahead, grab your favorite beverage and get comfy. Now, let's have a chat. Today I am drinking my decaf Cafe Bustello, with some sugar, no cream. Since I was talking about a town that had great coffee, I figured why not just drink some great coffee while I'm doing this particular episode. So I'm gonna take my customary sip. Hope you take a sip of your beverage, too. And now, let's get into it. About two years ago, I was speaking to a colleague and fellow sistafriend of mine named Shauntelle, and we were talking about"rest" and what does that really mean? We were gearing up for the launch of an exclusive community she has on LinkedIn called Black Girl Season, and this was one of the topics that she was going to dive into, so she wanted to discuss it in advance with a few of her trusted colleagues. Primarily, we focused on what it means for Black women to rest, which is a whole other topic for another time. Yet we explored all the different types of rest. More recently, I was talking to my colleague and fellow sistafriend Alexis, and she was saying how this was the year for her to realign herself with her whole mission and purpose of what she had when she started her business. She's been a coach for a while. She's done some amazing work. She just completed an entrepreneurs program with Goldman Sachs. And she realized that she was not prioritizing herself on her own calendar. Because of that, she did not know how to rest. So we discussed what that looks like for her and what it means. That is what I want to briefly share with you today. Rest, and one of its most important meanings, which is also self-care. After my friends and I had enjoyed our week long trip, we returned home. I had blocked off two more days of rest and relaxation before jumping back into life, so to speak. But life had other plans for me. Needless to say, I immediately had to jump back into caring for certain needs of my family, certain business matters and other things, and I realized I was feeling exhausted. On my trip, I was breathing in the fresh air and enjoying quiet time with my friends, but I didn't fully unwind and relax the way that I really wanted to until we were about three days from going home. Why? Because it takes time to fully unwind on vacation for many of us. It takes time to fully let things"go." When I came home and realized that I was literally exhausted, it clicked that it was for a variety of reasons. For example, my anxiety really kicked into high gear once we hit the Atlanta traffic on the way home, and people were just driving crazy. Being only about two weeks out from a car accident on the highway where I had to avoid hitting the median wall after being hit by another car, my anxiety was still going up and down. And that's something I was already working to try to get under control and to manage. We didn't"party" while we were gone. We literally lazed about in comfy jammies, laughed, talked, cried, bonded over our K-pop fandoms, and watched true crime documentaries and other reality shows, laughing at some of the foolishment that we were watching. So then it came back to why was I so exhausted, even with me trying to manage my anxiety. Thankfully, I had already planned a session with my therapist for when I returned home, and that's when she said to me, You need to redefine and reframe what"rest" means to you and what it looks like." So that gave me pause and got me to thinking. She even asked me like, when do I feel most rested when I'm at home? And I told her that my best rest times are when I close the doors to my bedroom, soak in a tub of Epsom salt and bubble bath, and either watch something on my iPad or listen to a podcast. I put my phone down. I completely let go of the outside world, and I am literally at peace for about an hour or so, or however long I choose to soak. Then she said to me, You need to find a way to have that measure of rest every day." Hmm. The thing is, we know that rest is a form of self-care, right? We know this. While we use many things for self-care and call it a form of rest or relaxation like getting our nails done or getting our hair done, exercising the reality is that those really may not be restful for us. They're things we do to take care of ourselves, but they may not really allow us to let go and bring about rest. What my therapist meant was that we need to find something that we can do that palms our mind, our bodies, our spirits, and brings us peace every single day. Is it a challenge? You bet. I'm working through it like so many of you are. But is it worth the battle sistafriends? Yes. Yes, it is. When we find those moments of rest and peace, we renew ourselves inside and out. We gain energy and replenish those energy storehouses. We can have a peaceful mind, which allows us to clear out mental space and allow us to think more clearly. For those of us with anxiety, we start to manage it a little better day by day instead of letting our minds run rampant. Now, don't get me wrong, rest looks different for each of us. Yes, it does. It might be literal rest or it might be something we do. For example, the other day, I closed my bedroom door. I turned on my massaging heating pad. I laid down on it. I covered myself with a blanket, and I took a much needed nap. When you suffer from autoimmune issues like I do, you know that we don't often wake up from any type of slumber feeling refreshed or rejuvenated, and if we do, it's extremely rare and oftentimes short-lived. This time, I did wake up refreshed and rejuvenated because I made it a point to focus on what I needed at the time, which was to let things go out of my mind, relax my body, and treat my body to a massage it desperately needed, and to take a nap. My body felt better, my mind was at ease, and I physically felt refreshed. There are times when rest for me is taking the time to really care for my skin. I cleanse it, do a clay mask and exfoliation. I hydrate with a Korean face mask. I do gua sha treatment and finish off with moisturizer. It can take 30 to 60 minutes or so for me to go through the whole routine, just taking my time and enjoying it. And in the meantime, I'm either watching my favorite Korean dramas, or I'm listening to some music while I'm doing it, but I allow myself to completely relax and be at peace and just be in the moment in that space. For you, it might be doing some meditation or yoga, it might be reading a book. It could be listening to music or ambient sounds like the rain. It could be watching Li Zi Qi on YouTube(and if you haven't seen her videos, check her out. SO relaxing.) What it comes down to is us determining what rest looks like for us and then making time for it daily. Even if all you have is five minutes. Start there with five minutes and build it up over time. If you're a mother, if you're a caregiver, if you're working multiple jobs, take the time. Buy out that time. Sacrifice something else. Take it out of your lunch break, but do something that allows you to experience that rest and that measure of peace. We have spent too many days and too many nights just going through the motions, just moving hurriedly getting things done. It's time, way past time, for us to take those moments for ourselves where we can let go completely each day. One of the things that I enjoy is Pilates, especially on the reformer. It's challenging at first. But I notice that every time that I get on, I'm more flexible and stronger than I was the time before, even if it's only been a few days apart. But it's even better if it's been every day. You're carrying some heavy loads that require strength and strength training. Put down those loads for a few minutes every day and love on yourself with your form of rest. Trust me, those same loads will still be there when you're ready to pick them up again. But, because you loved on yourself, doing that strength training, you're stronger. So when you pick those loads up again, they'll be a little easier to carry each and every time. Go ahead... take some time to rest today. Then when you're ready, let me know what you did, because I'm always looking for new ideas, too. I know your time is valuable and I appreciate you choosing to take the time to chat with me today. I hope our conversation helped you to see things more clearly. If you like this episode, don't forget to subscribe so you can always be alerted to my new episodes each week. Enjoy the rest of your day or night and let's get together again soon for some Coffee, Cocktails, and Clarity.
