Coffee, Cocktails, and Clarity: Real Women, Real Talk for Personal and Professional Development
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I’m here to support, inspire, and connect. Think of it as a conversation with your girlfriend, where you can be yourself, share your experiences, and find support, inspiration, and practical advice all over a coffee or cocktail – you choose.
Whether you're an entrepreneur, a working professional, or simply looking to grow and connect with other women, “Coffee, Cocktails, and Clarity” is your go-to podcast for honest, inspiring, and empowering conversations.
In this episode, I share a moment that shook me and forced me to face how powerful (and risky) distraction can be. One call became a crossroads — a reminder that every moment, we’re choosing our direction. Presence or autopilot. Fear or awareness. Reaction or intention.
If you’ve ever drifted, gotten caught up in the moment, or forgotten how precious life is — this one’s a reminder to breathe, pay attention, and choose the path that leads to peace and purpose.
TL;DR
A real moment that reminded me how quickly distraction can lead us toward danger — or toward deeper clarity and intention.
TIME STAMPS
00:00 Introduction to Distraction and Its Consequences
It was a late Saturday night, technically an early Sunday morning, about one thirty in the morning when the phone rang and all I could hear was horrific sobbing on the other end. I'm so happy you're here. My name is Shy Boston, and it's a privilege to welcome you to Coffee, Cocktails, and Clarity. Real women, real time. It's a safe space created for women like us who want to have authentic conversations around everything that impacts our life, career, and relationship. Go ahead, grab your favorite beverage and get comfy. Now, let's have a chat. Today I'm coming to you and I am drinking a pineapple fanta. Um, one of my favorite drinks. Hold on, let me take a sip. I don't drink it that often. Um, but there's something about a pineapple Fanta that just hits the spot. Anyway, let's continue with the story. So we got the call, and it was a family member bawling her eyes out. That two of our other family members, her children, had been involved in a head-on collision. It ended up that they were fine, but the driver that hit them was distracted in their vehicle. Age has nothing to do with it although they were relatively young in their 20s, but it was what caused the accident that was the bigger issue. They dropped their cell phone in a vehicle, and what they thought would take just a second to bend down and pick up resulted in them crossing a median and slamming head on into our family members. Thankfully, they were in a very well-built car that happened to be an SUV that took a lot of front-end damage. The airbags went off, and there was no other damage to the vehicle, like broken windows or things like that, which meant that our family members inside were relatively safe and walked away with some bumps and bruises that will heal over time and muscle tissue damage that'll heal over time. And also to motor vehicle trauma, which, if you've ever been in a motor vehicle accident of almost any sort, you know that that is something that stays with you for quite a while. Hearing the cries, the fear, knowing the uncertainty of what the outcome and result of that was going to be. I've been there and I've lived through that in my own personal accidents. Um, but what it made me think of when all was settled down, so to speak, and we were relieved to know that everyone was okay for the most part, it made me think about the distractions in my life that could be leading me into a dangerous situation. Things that might seem to take my eye off of my goal or the prize, so to speak, even temporarily, shortly, briefly, however you want to call it, but can still step in the way of ultimately achieving the goal. And if you're neurodivergent, you especially know what that means and what that feels like, because some of anything can take our eyes off of our ultimate prize. And it made me think about how many times in the past had I let someone a perceived opportunity or anything else take me off of the path of what my goal was that redirected me, whether it was the loving words and advice of a loved one trying to guide me in the way they thought was best, whether it was a relationship that I should have seen the red flags for, but didn't, or whether it was my own decisions around big decisions or even little ones that I had to make. But what distracted me and took me away from achieving a goal, fulfilling a wish, speaking up for myself, caring for myself, loving myself. I want you to think about that for yourself too, because we are all dealing with something, all of us. Some of it may be heavier than others, some of it seems like it's light. You know, sometimes you go at a grocery bag and you think it's light and it's not. When you go to pick it up, you realize it's actually heavy. Um, it could be any number of things. Sometimes it's compounded issues, but what is it that you're dealing with right now that could be acting as a distraction from something you have wanted to do and achieve for yourself? It might be a situation you don't have control over. You may have to be a caregiver to someone. Been there, done that. And even though mine was temporary, it still made me make adjustments in my own life so that I can accommodate being a caregiver to those that needed it. It could be that you are at a crossroads right now in your career. There are those that are giving you advice and trying to tell you why you should take a certain position, but deep down you know that is not really what you want to do. And that if you take that position, it could keep you from doing what you really want to do in your career or going down a different path that could get you there, even if it takes a little bit longer, but it'll get you there to where you want to be. Perhaps it's the relationship that you're in. You know that you should not be in this relationship. Maybe it's a relationship where it's just verbal, as you might say, the just part. He's verbally saying things, or she is verbally saying things that put you down, makes you feel less than, diminishes your worth in your eyes, because you already know you're not valued in theirs. Maybe it's not verbal, maybe they're just bumming off of you. They're lazy, they're not contributing to the household, they're not helping you when you come home from work by having, I don't know, dinner ready or DoorDash on the way. Maybe they didn't take care of the kids. Maybe they're not involved in your life, but expect you to be completely involved in theirs. Maybe it's something much more and much worse. It could be that we're involved in toxic relationships within our families, we're aiming to please, we're people pleasers, and we're aiming to please, and that is distracting us from achieving our goals, and all of these situations can ultimately lead us into a dangerous path. If you're a caregiver who is not giving care to yourself, you're on a dangerous path. You are working your way towards a head-on collision with your physical, mental, and spiritual health. If you are looking at your career and you're being forced into a job that or position or down a path that you're like, this really is not for me. You could be in a dangerous position because you could end up in a position where now you're stuck in that role for a long time. Because you are not expected to succeed. So the sooner you fail, in their eyes, the sooner you're out. It also could be that this is the setup for you to be laid off because they know they're going to slowly eliminate this position by eliminating everything else and continuing the power of the work on a certain department until they're ready to get rid of that department. Could be any number of things, and it could be setting you also up for having health that is not going to be good because you will be stressed out to the max. Even if you can do the job and you're good at it, and it's not something you want to do, you will still have stress and anxiety, and that will leave marks inside your body on your health that you may not see for years to come. If you're in a relationship where they're taking way more than they're giving, and if what they're giving is painful in any way, you are definitely on a path where you might end up in a dangerous situation. You see, I want you to think about what are the things that are in your best interest and what are the things that are serving you. Yes, there are some things that we have to do for a time. Then what do we do to make sure we are balanced so that we are able to care for ourselves, to pursue our goals, to achieve what we're trying to achieve, to get away from what is no longer serving us, and to do so safely, and to read the entire situation so that we can make the best decision to maneuver into a better position. You see, if that person that was in the car that night decided to pull over and stop, then pick up their cell phone, they would have maneuvered themselves into a better position to avoid a dangerous situation that not only impacted them, but then others around them. It didn't just impact my family members who were involved in the accident. It also impacted those who had to witness the accident. It impacted the first responders who had to come out to another accident and hope and pray that whoever was involved would be able to walk away from it, that they would not have to make any arrests that night, that they would also be able to be safe and go home to their families. You see, I also have family members who've been firefighters, police officers, and paramedics amtees, uh, close friends who I consider family, who are also nurses and doctors. And we don't think about the ramifications sometimes of our actions. When I was a traffic school instructor, I used to teach people this. And I was like, you know what? You think that just switching a lane without the blinker on, or you know, cutting somebody off, or even possibly getting into an accident only involves you or you and that other person. The reality is it's a ripple effect. So now when we're talking about being distracted and possibly being put into a situation that is dangerous, look at who else we impact. The ones who love and care about us. Maybe that's family. Friends we call family. Maybe it's our employees or it's our um our team, our departments, our businesses. Maybe it's our health. And now all the doctors and nurses and everyone else who will have to care for us in our time of need. When it could have been prevented by maneuvering things differently, pulling over to the side if necessary, just letting it be and keep on driving and get to your destination. Waiting until you got to the stoplight or a stop sign. There's any number of things, and all of those have repercussions as well. All of our actions, whatever decisions we make, there's always going to be something that's going to result out of that. So whether it's good or bad is a you know different story. Some of us really don't have the time or the ability to think through some of our decisions. As these distractions come at us, we have to make split second decisions. But I'm going to encourage you, even if it's a split second, take the time. Split-second decisions can have lifelong ramifications that one is not prepared for, and some of which may not be able to be corrected or fixed. When I thought about the situation that happened with my family, I thought about how many times I was distracted. How many times have I been in a car and I dropped a cell phone? Or that really good McDonald's French fry? How many times did I look down to put my drink in the cup holder? How many times was I driving and putting on my lipstick? I've seen women put on full faces while they're driving. How many times was I driving and I was just zoned out and my mind just automatically took me to where I had to go? You see, statistics show that most car accidents happen within about five to ten miles max of home. So we get so used to those. We go on autopilot. We literally can drive and go wherever we have to go without even thinking about it. That's why sometimes we'll be like, wait a minute, how I got here quick, or I didn't even realize my exit was coming up. Distractions. Sometimes being comfortable with the uncomfortable. But right now is just not a good time. I need to stay on this path. Distractions of every sort can be good or bad and can lead us down a path that we may or may not want to be on that could cause us injury, or sometimes cause us to wake up. You ever been driving down a road or uh a freeway or highway that's very familiar to you? And all of a sudden you start seeing the orange signs that so many feet ahead there's a lane change. You're thinking, okay, no big deal. So this lane's gonna merge here. But then as you get there, you start to see all the traffic backing up, and then you start to see that, oh no, this is a weird lane change because they want me to go here, then they want me to go here, then they want me to go here. Sometimes it's a complete detour, often into a neighborhood you have never traveled before. Now you're trying to get your ways on or your GPS or whatever else, so that you can figure out how do I either get back on the highway or get back onto the main street so that I can get home. Sometimes distractions can wake us up. Maybe we're driving and we're in a zone, we're not even paying attention, and we have to stop, and we stop, and all of a sudden, boom, boom, boom, you hear your cell phone hit the floor. What happens? You jerk awake and you're like, oh, wait a minute, now you're out of the zone. And you that's when you might look around to realize where you are. Think about the distractions in your life right now. Are they leading you down a dangerous path? Are these good distractions that are trying to wake you up and let you know you need to be alert to some upcoming changes? Maybe some positive opportunities and outcomes, or maybe they're just there to wake you up. Whatever you decide today, and what those distractions are. A path that will help you to achieve your goals so that you can also be happy. Whether it's our first conversation or we've been talking for a while, thank you for taking the time to chat with me today. While you finish your beverage, take some time to meditate on today's conversation and journal your thoughts and feelings. If you like today's conversation and you haven't already done so, please subscribe to and review my podcast, then download this episode. Don't forget to join my fan page on fanless.com forward slash coffee cocktails clarity, where you can share your thoughts on the episode, ask questions, or share your story. You never know, I may feature you in a future episode, with your consent, of course. You can also follow me on social media. The links will be in the show notes. I hope our chat helped you to see things more clearly. I always enjoy talking with you. So let's take some time for us to get together again soon for some coffee, cocktails, and clarity.
